Time

Conversations with Amieta are usually pretty good. There's still stuff that I don't understand. But she's safe. Well, not safe exactly, but I feel like I can relax around her. She's like an older cousin or something. She knows about the things I know, and I find myself falling easily into conversations about weapons, or blood, or when things go bad. She knows. I don't have to explain.

I asked her if she thought pod pilots were fucked up. She says that pod pilots are really only good for one thing. Killing. And that you can choose whether to kill for a good reason. Or not.

That I have to keep doing that. Killing. Or I might as well retire.

And I like flying too much. I would find it hard to give that up.

I also find myself in conversations with Amieta about women. She doesn't laugh at me. When I tell her what I'm thinking, or what I'm embarrassed about.

Mostly she tells me I'm not unusual. That it will take time, regardless of what I'm talking about. Being lonely. Understanding. Cia.

I know. More or less. That it will take time.

But I want it to be soon.