Been a long time

No writing for a long time. Been too busy, and too distracted, and haven't really felt the need. Carinelle suggested I start again. Something to do to keep my thoughts in order when there's so much I have on that I forget the stuff that's important to me, overwhelmed by the stuff that's important to the alliance.

Carinelle has been away for months in the Federation. Family stuff.

I've become the Alliance Leader for Electus Matari.

Oddly enough, those are connected.

Midnighter got in touch with me after Carinelle had been away for a month and asked if I had any spare time. Because I wasn't expecting Nelle back for a while, I said yes. Encouraged, he promptly nominated me. Most of the other nominees didn't want the job if they had a choice, and I ended up with it.

I'm still slightly surprised, but I think I'm doing an Ok job so far. The self censorship seems to be working.

Auntie Mara looks at me oddly when I visit now, sometimes like she's calculating how I can be of use to her and the clan; sometimes like she might even be proud of me.

I got a strange mail from Morwen. I used to talk to her in the Last Gate before VETO became red to us. She sent me some information about upcoming Sansha attacks, because her alliance isn't getting involved, and she can't fly in highsec any more. She does still have a core that cares about more than killing people and taking their stuff. I miss talking to her. Not enough to visit the Gate though since it wouldn't just be Ulf Atamahara visiting, it would be the EM Alliance Leader.

Eliza joined the alliance. I'm not sure how I feel about that. She's trying hard to show that she's useful, but is doing that by telling everyone. I'm not sure how to tell her that if she talked less and did the same stuff, it would take longer for people to realise she was useful, but it would last longer. She has a history of changing her direction frequently, but she claims that she's stopped that. I won't be convinced until she's been on the same path for a while.

And Carinelle came back last week. Sometimes it feels like she was never away, and things are still wonderful. Sometimes it's slightly awkward, like we're not sure what to talk about. She's distracted by her mother and her maybe clan, and feeling out of practice at flying. She's back, but it feels like not all of her is.

I hope more comes back soon.