111.08.04

Cia called. She was running a jump-clone to Lonetrek, but would be back soon. Did I want to meet in Pator? So she could pick up Grace.

Cia called me!

Cia was late. Only a few minutes, but I was chewing my fingernails and pacing around my own living room. She arrived, looking wonderful as usual, and I fumbled around the social niceties. We sat and looked at Grace for a bit - I think Cia likes her - and then Cia asked about home, about Paiho. I told her a bit about the land, and the weather, and she interrupted. Matariki, she said, had suggested she ask about how Atamahara welcomes home it's soldiers.

I told her generalities. That the clan wants to be safe from its ex-soldiers, that sometimes they have to be taught to be safe around other people; to be people. She asked for specifics, what was it like for me. So I told her, part of it. That there were dreams involving blood and piss and knives and terror.

That I'm not like that any more.

And she told me she understood. She already knew I knew; about choices; about consequences.

Then she held me. And told me she had some time before she had to be home, and we went upstairs. And she showed me that she was glad I was back.

She left again later - With two of my crew helping carry Grace - but it didn't feel lonely this time. It felt like there was promise and hope.

I fell asleep smiling.