Beginnings part v

So I set about organising dinner. It took me most of the week. I wasn't doing missions or going on patrols, I was thinking about menus and surprises. I wanted it to be special. I wanted Cia to like it. I booked a really nice restaurant, and a really nice hotel suite, and timed it for sunset around the moon.

I had met Cia's head of security in the Bazaar, and so I sent him a message. I wanted Cia to be safe, without having half a dozen marines in the booth while we were trying to have dinner. Fisk Hurun was no nonsense, and practical, and pretty much everything a security officer should be - I was happy to answer his questions.

And Mata gave me the idea for a gift. I went to Uncle Ashlar, the carver, in his studio on Gyng, and looked at the finished pieces. He had one of a woman seated, pouring a jug, with hinted-at features instead of having every detail delineated. It is one of those pieces where you could see any beautiful woman there rather than one in particular, and the lines suggested movement and elegance- in fact, Ashlar had named it "Grace". I thought it would be perfect.

And I had to get new clothes. Back to Rens Bazaar - I found a tailor who would make me something appropriate. Black with gold thread marking clan patterns of courting. It had a high collar with buttons, and I thought it would look fantastic.

And then the day arrived. I was walking around the entrance of the restaurant, trying not to look nervous, and failing.

She arrived. Peeling off from her guards and walking up to me looking fantastic. Simple, Elegant, and with hair! She'd jump-cloned in the meantime back to a missioning clone, and this one hadn't been mistreated.

I lead her into the restaurant, and we were quickly seated, and then we talked for hours. In between we ate. I don't remember much of what we said, but there were bits. She told me that her father had been in FIO, that he'd had a cloning accident and been gone for some time. And when he came back Cia was in the White Rose society - Sansha supporters. He thought she'd been controlled by Sansha and would have information about them. So he kidnapped Cia and Camille - his own daughters - and tortured Cia for information about the Sansha.

Amieta rescued them, and Silver.

I was horrified, and relieved, and embarrassed for being relieved.

I mentioned that I'd worked in the Federation for a while, and she asked where and too late I figured out that FIO was not the right answer. She looked scared, and then like she was convincing herself that I wasn't necessarily a spy from her father - building a reality that fit what she hoped? I'm not sure.

At the appointed time, I walked her to the Hotel - I was pre-registered - and took her to the window floor. And we watched the sunset together holding hands until it got dark and talking some more... I showed her Grace, and said it was a present for her. I think she liked it.

Then I offered her the chance to do more than talk, and she said yes. I wonder still if that was what she wanted, or whether she was trying to figure out what I wanted. I was desperately trying not to pressure her, but maybe that's a pressure in itself. Afterwards, I asked what tomorrow would bring.

Big mistake. She looked scared - trapped - and I tried to back-pedal. She asked if we had to decide now, couldn't we leave it for a bit, nobody else had to know right?

And of course I said yes.

Then she said she had to get back to Camille. Camille needed her. "Maybe one day, Amieta or someone could babysit and Cia could spend the night?", "Maybe" she said.

And then she kissed me and left. One day she'll come back and pick up Grace.

The hotel room felt very lonely right then, but I was damned if I was going back to my hangar.