After action reports

CJ ran an Op. We had 3 battlecruisers, a couple of frigates, and me in my Vagabond. We moved around for a bit looking for someone we could handle that we could catch. We eventually engaged an Armageddon in a belt after he scouted half of us out and invited us to fight away from gate guns. I think the critical point was that he hadn't seen all of us when he decided to let us engage.

We however were pretty sure he didn't have friends because of our scouts. Silver lost a hurricane, and CJ was down to 2% armour before the Armageddon popped. It was CJ's first loss in a fleet she was running. She was a bit sad about it, but happy about the battleship kill.

After the Op, I met up with CJ in the Shackled Amarr. I'm glad I asked CJ if she was angry with me, since the answer was no. The day she'd yelled at me she was just trying to figure out what had happened. After I left, while she was listening to Cia tell her side of the story CJ was feeling sorry for me - That I might be better off without her. "She reacted to you being sweet by freaking out".

I tried to tell CJ that it hadn't been Cia's fault. That Cia had had horrible things happen to her ( "So have lots of people, and it's horrible, So?") That I'd been too pushy, too intense. ("She could have asked you to slow down").

CJ said it sounded like I was determined that it was my fault, and the conversation moved on.

Am I? Determined to be at fault? I think I'd rather be at fault than wrong about Cia.

That sounds a bit harsh. I still like Cia. I'm just giving up on the idea of us being more than friends, perhaps more than aquaintances for a long time. If that's because she's too broken then that doesn't make her a bad person.

I've been trying to be civil - friendly even - in corp chat. She's trying too, I can tell. We haven't met face to face again yet, I'm hoping that will work out.

I'd like it to work out.