It cuts your life, like a broken knife

Someone finally explained to me what happened in the Shackled Amarr.

Meklon and BT entered, Meklon roughed up the bartender, and BT in his Blooder armour threatened Veranon. When Gradient security personel drew their weapons and commanded them to stop, Meklon drew knives and charged. They fired warning shots. Then they fired to hit. Meklon got a weapon off one of them and shot one of the guards.

That guard died.

Meklon was wounded.

There are pilots saying that BT didn't do anything really wrong. That Meklon was only acting in self defence after they shot first, so that's not a big deal.

The unspoken premiss is that the dead guard; not a pod pilot; that his life didn't really matter.

I have heard claims that pilots have to think that way. That they would go mad if they didn't disregard the suffering they inflict when they destroy a ship, or the suffering endured by their crews when they lose one.

I don't agree.

I have taken on a duty. I do that duty as best I can until I lay it down.

Sometimes the price of that duty is in lives. I do my best not to engage innocents. and to make sure it is my crew that makes it home in one piece.

But I do not pretend that there is no price.

That guard, the one who died, was doing his duty. Putting his life on the line to defend others, no different than I and other EM pilots do when we fly anti-pirate patrol.

I think he waited too long. He should not have fired a warning shot at a man with a knife. He should have shot to kill. But we have lead our crews to think that we are the good guys. We don't shoot first, especially not blues. We don't shoot indiscriminately. Sometimes the price of that forebearance is also in lives.

When I find out his name, I will remember it.