The Utopian Ideal

I've been trying to organise a trip to see Sara for the last couple of weeks. The excuse was to visit The Utopian Ideal - Silver Night's Chimera class carrier. Finally, our schedules coincided, and I travelled out to the base.

The carrier is huge. 1.3km long. The dock has a significant marine presence .

Sara was waiting for me.

I wasn't really sure how to address her, so I called her "Ms Voutelen" in front of security. I was pre-approved, so was quickly inside the ship and walking around the internals. Sara took me to the bridge first. It was suitably impressive, and I tried to ask intelligent questions. She took me to the hangar next, via an internal transport system.

It was huge. The walk-way she lead me out onto was 100 meters above the hangar deck floor. The catwalk was very fragile looking. It took me a minute or two to stop my adrenaline telling me that I was too high with not enough support.

The hangar was mostly empty, with only a couple of ships in it. We were alone. I took the opportunity to ask how I should address her in front of the crew. She said as I was a captain, and in the same corp, first name would be acceptable.

The name thing seems like a game that I don't understand. I can tell that having her ask me to call her Sara was some sort of signal. Sometimes her mails are from Sarakai sometimes from Sara, still other times CTO Voutelen.

I think that means something. Some message that I'm failing to understand.

Sara took me to the fighter bays. Fighters are like frigates in size, though less modular. Sara mentioned that Caldari excellence at fighters was how they held the Gallente at bay during their wars, forcing the federation to go all in on drones as a way to compete. I've never walked around a fighter before - they're huge, although I guess that's relative on a carrier.

Then Sara offered to show me Amieta's garden. It was a place of life in an otherwise grey metal world. There are force fields between different types of plants that need different environments. Had I been a child I would have loved playing with them - moving from hot to cold and dry to moist, leaning against the forcefield trying not to put quite enough force on it to pop through.

I'm not sure Sara approved, but it was a nice place. Ami spends all her time here when she's not on duty or off ship. She does all the work herself. It looks like there's a lot of work in it.

Not everyone is allowed in - the general crew are allowed in the hydroponics area, but not Ami's personal garden.

Sara took me to the officers' mess for dinner. We got a table on our own, but it was still a public place with lots of other people around. I didn't feel like we could talk completely openly. Still, it felt like the first time we'd actually got to talk about something other than business.

The food was very good. But the point was the conversation. I asked if she'd enjoyed the dinner in Pator, and she said yes. I hadn't been sure, since she hadn't replied to my mails afterward. She said that if I had annoyed her, she'd just have security shoot me.

I think she was kidding. She does a very good straight face, so I can't be sure though.

At least I know I haven't annoyed her yet, right?

She even said that she'd be willing to give it another go, especially if she didn't have to wear a dress next time. I laughed and said if I didn't have to wear a suit it was a deal. She looked at me oddly and said she thought I looked very nice in a suit.

I told her about Lenfa's place in the bazaar. How sometimes I go there when I want to be alone, even if it is amongst so many people. She didn't want to intrude somewhere I went to be alone.
I think that's another message I need to understand.

I told her that it was an island of peace rather than necessarily somewhere to be alone, and I could share that with friends. That she'd be welcome, if she wanted to join me.

She looked thoughtful at that. But said that yes, she'd like to see Lenfa's place.

I have come to appreciate peace with Sara. Sitting drinking tea.

She told me some of the traditions of the Caldari and tea, and poison. I told her how I made tea for the Aunties when I'm home.

Sara said she isn't good with words.

So why do I enjoy our conversations so much? She said it was because she knew when not to talk. I like that idea. Like some music works best when it has spaces in the sound. It emphasises that which is there by framing it with silence. So I had to ask. Do I talk too much? She smiled and said no. I think she was even telling the truth.

I remembered to ask her if she'd like to come to a party. I told her Cia was throwing one, and had said I could bring someone. She smiled and said yes.

In the meantime, I'm hoping to see her in the bazaar sometime soon. To sit In Lenfa's and drink tea or coffee. To share a companionable silence. I think she'll like that too.