Depressed yes, Sad no!

The war is over. I'm feeling somehow bereft of purpose. If someone tells me to do something then that's easy, I do that.

I'm having difficulty thinking of things I want to do.

I tried flying some missions for the Sebiestor Tribe Bureau. It's a bit silly that the Brutor Tribe Bureau gives me more discounts than the Sebiestor. I felt tired at the end of it. Flying the typhoon just feels so slow. Lumbering. Most of my flying in the last couple of months has been in Rifters or Thrashers, and they feel so much more rewarding in their freedom of flight.

I went to the Last Gate last night. Hung around for a while, but it was practically empty. I think the staff were getting ready for the breakfast shift or something. Sat around for an hour and then decided to head back home.

Eva and KJ are being sweet. I'm happy for them, and I think they enjoy teasing me. I log on to a command channel and they pretend that I've just interupted something. At least I hope they're pretending or I'm interupting them almost all the time.

Eva seems happier than I've ever seen her. She's also around a lot more, instead of being off researching in her private lab alone. It's nice. The Corp is feeling more centered on her again, and I like that.

KJ also looks more relaxed. More at ease with himself. I suspect they really are suited to each other.

Strangely it makes me feel more alone. I haven't seen Sara in a month. I took Te Kahu to the End Of The War party. I think she enjoyed it as a social outing, but I haven't heard from her since. She was making noises about joining Gradient.

I need to do something. But I'm not sure what. Strangely, I've been thinking back to my time in the militia fondly. That would mean leaving Re-Aw though, and I don't like that idea at the moment.

I will make no large decisions right now. It's not entirely safe. I will try to get out more.

I will survive.