If you love someone

I wondered if Nelle was upset with me. She made herself very vulnerable to say what she did. I didn't really respond properly.

What does she mean? What does it mean when she says that? How do you decide that it's true? What if you're wrong?

I didn't want to say it and be wrong. Neither lying, nor mistaken.

I spent the day thinking about it. Flying around in a daze. Barely paying attention.

Carinelle called me, she was moving minerals in lowsec and I invited her to drop round when she finished.

We had dinner in my kitchen - We talked about a bunch of stuff. Morar, Siohban, Feinlyn, the rigidity of the Gradient command structure. Meklon.

The day she needed someone, and I was there. She called me her personal sun, that recharges her. She makes me burn brighter when she's around.

So I told her; I might be falling in love too.

A torrent of words fell out of me; trying to say what I was feeling and just getting confused. Through it all she had this silly grin on her face.

She told me that she has difficulty saying it. That it normally takes ages for her to get the courage to say it in a relationship. That it just slipped out; easily; naturally. That it felt good to say it aloud.

I haven't said it to anyone since I was 17. I was wrong then.

I don't want to be wrong this time.

She told me that we'll just have to take the risk, and she hugged me. I whispered in her ear

I love you

she whispered back

I love you too

She's usually so confident, but she stood there looking shy. Like she wasn't sure what should come next.

Without asking; without worrying if she'd disapprove; I picked her up. Carried her upstairs in my arms. She smiled for every step.